That he’s using his high profile to market this kind of garbage – “chew tobacco, chew tobacco, chew tobacco, spit”, you’re kidding me? – is bad enough. Shelton is arguably the biggest star in country music right now. This sub-genre has become a parody of itself. Pistol Annies and friendsĪbsolutely horrible rap with awful country-pride lyrics. I said a lot about this song last year, and I stand by all of it.ġ.”Boys Round Here” – Blake Shelton feat. The original was bad enough this ill-conceived rap remix unbelievably makes it even worse. He’s becoming more of a problem then his artists at this point. The rap remix is nothing more than ‘Anti-Christ’ Scott Borchetta cementing his stronghold over commercial country, and his dominance as dictator of Music Row. The newly minted CMA Single of the Year is the worst novelty hit in decades. “Cruise Remix” – Florida Georgia Line feat. Sticking banjo on top is just like putting lipstick on a pig – and not Babe or Miss Piggy, a really hairy, smelly boar with swine flu.Ģ. I don’t know that I’d go that far, but it is very poor indeed, with pornographic uh-ing at the start, little melody, cliche’d lyric, jerky phrasing even Luke sounds as though he’s on autopilot. Zac Brown called it ‘one of the worst songs I’ve ever heard’. It’s an insult to Joe Diffie to include references to him on this ghastly hip hop trash.ģ.
Aldean is singing about a man once nicknamed ‘Joe Ditty,’ in a song that makes “Pickup Man” and “John Deere Green” sound like the second coming of “He Stopped Loving Her Today.” When tribute songs are of a far lesser quality than the music of artist they’re honoring, is there even a point? Like most of Jason Aldean’s singles of late, ‘1994’ has no narrative to speak of, no point to its existence, or any artistic credibility whatsoever. It’s just too bad he needs to offset a steel-heavy ballad with a desperate attempt at remaining a hero to the teen and college set. Is there a chance Lee Brice may be the only male country singer to understand the concept of balance? I could knock him for recording this awful cliché-drenched ode to tailgating, but it comes on the heels of “I Drive Your Truck,” a surprisingly substantive moment in mainstream country this year. Bad and boring at least the likes of Joanna Smith and Chris Young can sing. The single boasts rock vocals, completely generic leering lyric, no melody to speak of, tinny processed sound. The fact that this guy co-wrote “Cruise” tells you all you need to know about him as an artist. The lyrics speak of humility, but everything about this mess screams “Look at me! And how much better I am than you!”. This collaboration boasts lots of chest-thumping bravado, self-proclaimed superiority over anybody with even subtle differences to the narrators, and the whole thing is just way too loud and overbearing. “The Only Way I Know How” – Jason Aldean with Luke Bryan and Eric Church This tasteless muck (co-written by Josh Kear and Chris Tompkins of “Before He Cheats” fame) is another low for country music, in an era in which everyone seems to be trying to out do themselves for the lowest levels of douchedom. This is only a little worse than “Round Here” because it sounds like some parody lyric written for the Drunken Martina twitter account. But they proved me wrong with both their 2013 releases. Last year,when I heard “Cruise”, I really didn’t think these guys’ singles could get any worse. “Get Your Shine On” – Florida Georgia Line It does not inspire any positive hope for the new album it heralds.ĩ.
Heavy metal pretending to be country loud, cluttered, tuneless and horrible, with risibly cliche’d wannabe outlaw lyrics I don’t find remotely credible, shouted (even screamed) rather than sung.
What would your own list look like? Share in the comments. Here’s our pick for the ten worst mainstream songs of the year. Eric Church, Luke Bryan, Jason Aldean, and Florida Georgia Line all have double entries here, demonstrating their consistency in putting out large piles of musical bovine feces. Florida Georgia Line’s 2012-released “Cruise” makes it second appearance on our list fueled by its re-release of a remix with rapper Nelly and its record-setting year atop the new mongrel Hot Country Songs chart. Young bastard sub-genres like hick-hop and ‘bro country’ dominate our annual worst songs of the year list.
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